Euphemisms Found in Classified Ham ads

[K4ICL]

Here is a small collection of euphemisms discovered during almost ten years of monitoring QTH.com Classified ads. Have you seen others?

What is said.

• What it probably means.

It is in good shape for its age.

• It might be a worn out wreck needing fixing before it will work.

Tech Special.

• This is broken and will be need to be fixed.

This is my personal equipment.

• I want you to believe that I really used it.

The XYL says it has to go.

• I am tired of looking at it and maybe my wife.

I got it at an estate sale.

• I am not responsible for it if it does not work.

Sold as is.

• You are on your own, Dude.

Too heavy to ship.

• I don’t want to deal with shipping for any reason.

Pick up only.

• I will make no effort to get it to you. Come get it.

I bought it from a collector.

• I want you to believe it is in “collector’s” condition.

I took it in a trade. I don’t know anything about it.

• You are on your own, Dude.

I saw one just like it on eBay…

• I know how to access eBay.

No tire kickers.

• I don’t want to spend time telling you about it.

Sorry, no picture.

• I don’t want to post a picture for you to see.

Make an offer.

• I don’t know what I want for it but I want a lot.

I got it from my Elmer

• The old guy next door gave it to me.

I don’t need high power any more.

• My condo association just filed suit against me.

Price reduced again…

• PLEASE buy this thing; I don’t want it any more.

It could use a little cleaning.

• I am too lazy to clean it before I try to sell it to you.

Needs TLC.

• It is not worth my getting it fixed.

It should be an an easy fix.

• You are on your own, Dude.

I have no way to test this.

• It probably doesn't work. You are on your own, Dude.

Have two of these; one has to go.

• I am going to keep the best one and sell you the worst one.

It is MINT!

• I really don't know what "Mint" means but it sounds cool.

It just needs some tweaking...

• Oops. I turned some things and don't know how to put them back where they were.

[VA3TO]

GOD BLESS.

I want you to believe that I am religious and thus trustworthy.


Selling for the widow of a silent key.

Shame you into not even thinking about making an offer ...and... You are on your own, Dude.


I recently saw one sell on eBay for twice the price I'm asking.

I want you to believe that this is a great deal.


I already sold a dozen of them, these are my last two.

You snooze, you lose... if you want one you better act quickly, don't even think about it.

[K3CXG]

Worked the last time I used it.

Yeah, back in 1955!


Mike K3CXG

[KG4GPJ]

No "tire-kickers"

Just pay me what I ask, with no questions asked!

[KA9FOX]

I will send a cashier's check with an extra $500. Please send the extra $500 to my friend in ______.

• You are about to be screwed by the Nigerian Cashier's Check scam

- Scott KA9FOX

[KB3RPE]

As I posted in a separate thread :
" Has unfilled warranty card...."
Meaning:
" I'm too lazy to register the rig & I want you to believe you have some kind of factory warranty making this rig special"

ONLY Icom warranty is transferable, with proof of purchase, to new owner for the balance of warranty period!

[eric]

GOD BLESS.
I want you to believe that I am religious and thus trustworthy.

Yeah thats a farce! When the deal goes bad the guy sends you a profanity laced email calling you every name in the book! ive been there done that.

[kg8lb]

Worked the last time I used it.

Yeah, back in 1955!


Mike K3CXG

Yep, "Worked the last time I used it"

....Then my buddy borrowed it and blew it up.

The famous:

"AS-IS"

Is the ultimate escape clause. It also means every single part of the description might as well be a blatant lie. The photo may be of an entirely different rig etc.
The seller will duck in behind that one every time !

You can also take..

"May need an alignment"
To mean serious problems often involving wholesale replacement of parts and the undoing of various undocumented "improvements" AKA modifications.

"Sorry, no shipping"

Is about the most honorable one of the bunch. If you cannot understand that one you probably had someone else take your exam. Pretty simple. The item is too heavy, the seller may have a physical impairment or too little time to deal with shipping details. Another likely reason , the seller may have been worked over by a scam artist buyer. In any event , If you cannot put forth the efforrt required to pick it up, the seller owes you nothing , not even an explanation. Just move on and find someone who will deliver to you. Surely a motivated, not so lazy buyer can put forth the effort to pick up.

[KB3RPE]

As I posted in a separate thread :
" Has unfilled warranty card...."
Meaning:
" I'm too lazy to register the rig & I want you to believe you have some kind of factory warranty making this rig special"

ONLY Icom warranty is transferable, with proof of purchase, to new owner for the balance of warranty period!

Actually, per Icom web site, they may only need proof of purchase if theirs a "dispute"...otherwise they will go by serial number.....
Per:
http://www.icomamerica.com/en/media_eve ... ?id=200908

[N9LCD]

"The best I've ever seen"!

MEANS:

"It's probably the only one he's ever seen"

N9LCD



[/i]

[N6MYA]

"Guaranteed not to be DOA. No returns accepted."

Then there are the e-bayisms:

"Up for sale"

"Thanks for looking"



Cheers,

Paul

N6MYA

[w9dp]

NIB

I am the only owner and still have the original packing.



Still has the plastic on the plastic on the display.

I still have the original packing material and want you to think I never used it.



Price is firm

I know I want to much for it and really don't want to sell it.



Last chance before the scrap pile.

I am tired of no one responding to my add.




From the estate of a Silent Key.

Selling it as is at a price higher than new.




Works perfectly but I am not responsible for how you use it.

I beat the crap out of this thing and will not stand behind it.

[k2cd]

I have no way of testing it, but it lit up when I turned it on.

• Yeah, in a shower of sparks and a puff of blue smoke.

[wz3o]

No "tire-kickers"

Just pay me what I ask, with no questions asked!

Send pics to serious buyers only..

Duh, I can't use a computer to upload pics or am just an ignorant moron....

[eazk9fon]

So whats wrong with not wanting to ship???? Have any of you check to see how much it costs to ship a heavy radio???? Last time i shipped a FT 101 it was $75.00 to Washington state i about s**t!!! Plus the chance it might not get from point A to point B intact... If i have something that's too heavy and too risky to ship i only offer pick up only or meet halfway if its under 200 miles one way.. I guess if some of you don't like that then don't bother the seller..

[N9LCD]

"COLLECTOR QUALITY"

May mean the garbage collector!

N9LCD

1001001!

[N9LCD]

"Selling for medical reasons"

Translation: "I'm sick and tired of this piece of junk"

N9LCD

[w9dp]

"Works perfectly but no warranty due to part swappers."

I am the only honest person on the internet, the rest of you are thieves and liars.

[AC4XS]

"Worked the last time I turned it on"

Before it fell off the back of my truck

[ah7i]

"No low ballers."

I will not entertain offers from old men who wear boxers?

[N9LCD]

"... sale includes everything that came in the box...'

What is this? Some kind of scam? "Sorry, that didn't come in the box."

Or is the seller just too lazy to this everything included in the sale?

N9LCD

[ah7i]

As-Is for the usual reasons

All the caveats you've ever seen.